I wonder why this bloody life always catches up with me on the negative site. No matter what I do, where I go, who I am with... it always turns dark! Why....?
What is it I am doing wrong? Why can't I have a quiet comfortable life? Why is it I constantly find my self seeking approval?
I know why. It's because I was brought up that way. To think I was no one and nothing and not worth the penny in my hand. That is why. Yes, my father managed to ruin my life, even here as 56 years of age, divorced twice, with a huge depth, 3 grown up kids and a Granddaughter.
I am hopelessly in love in a man who takes the world with storm. A man who has no time for me and time, lots of time, is what I need. A man who is 25 younger than me. A man who came to me, knowing who I am and started flirting. A man with whom I have, primarily, a digital relationship with. A man I have met for 2 days in real life. The man over who I have cried the most tears, apart from my father, or rather, my fathers treatment of me. The man that has made me hunger the most.
My faith in my self is not the biggest.
I hide my self and at the same time I want to scream to the world 'Look at me I am right here and I need your fucking help'. Nobody is listening, at least that is what I think. I know someone is listening and that is why I don't scream. I do not want to disturb their life.
What is it I am doing wrong? Why can't I have a quiet comfortable life? Why is it I constantly find my self seeking approval?
I know why. It's because I was brought up that way. To think I was no one and nothing and not worth the penny in my hand. That is why. Yes, my father managed to ruin my life, even here as 56 years of age, divorced twice, with a huge depth, 3 grown up kids and a Granddaughter.
I am hopelessly in love in a man who takes the world with storm. A man who has no time for me and time, lots of time, is what I need. A man who is 25 younger than me. A man who came to me, knowing who I am and started flirting. A man with whom I have, primarily, a digital relationship with. A man I have met for 2 days in real life. The man over who I have cried the most tears, apart from my father, or rather, my fathers treatment of me. The man that has made me hunger the most.
My faith in my self is not the biggest.
I hide my self and at the same time I want to scream to the world 'Look at me I am right here and I need your fucking help'. Nobody is listening, at least that is what I think. I know someone is listening and that is why I don't scream. I do not want to disturb their life.
