We all know that it's important to have self confidence. We also know it's important to have self esteem. But what are these words and what do they mean on a daily matter.
Self confidence to me means that if I say I can do something, that's because I can. If you tell me, in spite of my own confidence, that I can't because I don't have the knowledge or is too stupid and I believe in you, then my self esteem has been touched and my self confidence will not grow.
One is about what I can and the other about what I am.
We should be able to for instance learn to eat with tools. If we believe our self that we can't, it is lack of self confidence.
If we are constantly being bombarded from others with a message telling us that we'll never be able to learn eating with tools, then our self esteem is being effected and we may never learn it effectively.
If we have a self confidence big enough to look past this accusation and do it in spite of being told otherwise, then we're able to grow our self esteem.
If we don't do it because of the accusations, then our self esteem will never grow.
This morning I ran into a situation which made me think about those two words and if we can have either of them without having the other.
Both feelings are essential for us to grow any skill, but can we be without one of them and still be successful?
I believe we are all born with a certain level of both. I mean we must be to dare even try to walk, talk, eat and do other things that will make us a complete human, wont we?
If we're constantly being encouraged and told we're good, then there's no limits for how far we can go.
Our confidence believes in us and makes our self esteem big and confident in own skills.
If we're constantly being told that we're stupid and lack skills, we're being broken down as independent people. We may still be able to do the things but it will not be by own will and power, but by others will and power. We know we can, because we're doing it, but we're not allowed to do it our way, independently. We've never been taught how to.
Meaning we know we can, but we do not dare go alone because we've never learned. That brings us to a low self esteem.
If this is the only way we live life we'll not have enough confidence in own skills to go alone and become an independent person with a high level of trust in them self.
Then there's a few of us, with a personality almost unbreakable.
They can tell us, show us and express to us how lousy we are at almost everything. Deep down we know our self that it is not the truth. The self confidence knows better, but as long the self esteem is below the 0-level, confidence doesn't dare to go alone and am waiting for the right time, the right situation and the right subject to show that it can. When and if we reach that level, self esteem will grow. No doubt about that.
An now an example how these small buggers work in real life.
When I wan a teen and had to decide which education I wanted, my first choice was to become what we in Danish call a smorrebrodsjomfru. It doesn't exist anywhere else as it's made from a special kind of bread baked on Rye, mainly used in Denmark and Germany. I wanted that very much but the patron in the house had another opinion and told me it was no good as there would be no future in that. As the obedient daughter I was I put that away.
My next choice was becoming a Vet. I wanted that very much because I'd always loved animals and hated to see them suffer. Unfortunately I didn't have the self confidence that I could go through with it. So I didn't. Not proving to my self I could do it gave me a lower self esteem. This day today I still regret I didn't go through with it. I'm sure I could've been a good Vet.
I had already by then been told enough that I wasn't to believe I was anything in special. My self esteem was already broken down. What a way to grow up a child! Today I'll call it a kind of child abuse as the person born was broken down to become a person wanted!
Any comments and views shall be welcomed.
Self confidence to me means that if I say I can do something, that's because I can. If you tell me, in spite of my own confidence, that I can't because I don't have the knowledge or is too stupid and I believe in you, then my self esteem has been touched and my self confidence will not grow.
One is about what I can and the other about what I am.
We should be able to for instance learn to eat with tools. If we believe our self that we can't, it is lack of self confidence.
If we are constantly being bombarded from others with a message telling us that we'll never be able to learn eating with tools, then our self esteem is being effected and we may never learn it effectively.
If we have a self confidence big enough to look past this accusation and do it in spite of being told otherwise, then we're able to grow our self esteem.
If we don't do it because of the accusations, then our self esteem will never grow.
This morning I ran into a situation which made me think about those two words and if we can have either of them without having the other.
Both feelings are essential for us to grow any skill, but can we be without one of them and still be successful?
I believe we are all born with a certain level of both. I mean we must be to dare even try to walk, talk, eat and do other things that will make us a complete human, wont we?
If we're constantly being encouraged and told we're good, then there's no limits for how far we can go.
Our confidence believes in us and makes our self esteem big and confident in own skills.
If we're constantly being told that we're stupid and lack skills, we're being broken down as independent people. We may still be able to do the things but it will not be by own will and power, but by others will and power. We know we can, because we're doing it, but we're not allowed to do it our way, independently. We've never been taught how to.
Meaning we know we can, but we do not dare go alone because we've never learned. That brings us to a low self esteem.
If this is the only way we live life we'll not have enough confidence in own skills to go alone and become an independent person with a high level of trust in them self.
Then there's a few of us, with a personality almost unbreakable.
They can tell us, show us and express to us how lousy we are at almost everything. Deep down we know our self that it is not the truth. The self confidence knows better, but as long the self esteem is below the 0-level, confidence doesn't dare to go alone and am waiting for the right time, the right situation and the right subject to show that it can. When and if we reach that level, self esteem will grow. No doubt about that.
An now an example how these small buggers work in real life.
When I wan a teen and had to decide which education I wanted, my first choice was to become what we in Danish call a smorrebrodsjomfru. It doesn't exist anywhere else as it's made from a special kind of bread baked on Rye, mainly used in Denmark and Germany. I wanted that very much but the patron in the house had another opinion and told me it was no good as there would be no future in that. As the obedient daughter I was I put that away.
My next choice was becoming a Vet. I wanted that very much because I'd always loved animals and hated to see them suffer. Unfortunately I didn't have the self confidence that I could go through with it. So I didn't. Not proving to my self I could do it gave me a lower self esteem. This day today I still regret I didn't go through with it. I'm sure I could've been a good Vet.
I had already by then been told enough that I wasn't to believe I was anything in special. My self esteem was already broken down. What a way to grow up a child! Today I'll call it a kind of child abuse as the person born was broken down to become a person wanted!
Any comments and views shall be welcomed.
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